Forever And Always

Having baby Benedict here, alive and breathing has taken some of the stress and pain away that is here, but it doesn’t take all of it. Freddie is still a person who lived and breathed and we can’t forget that, he can’t ever be replaced or forgotten. Sometimes when Ben open his eyes I can see just a tiny bit of Freddie in them and although that only normal I can’t help but have that tiny nagging worry, I try ever so hard not to worry but it’s just so hard.

When I hold Ben people say that some girls my age already have a baby, I have vowed not to be one of those girls, I’m happy just to have a younger brother. Also it keeps occurring to me that by the time he’s 6 or 7 he’ll probably be coming to spend weekends with me. If he does he’ll have to get used to spending a lot of time in the theatre being cooed by the other dancers! That is a very strange thought and not one I like to think about very often.

When Ben is awake all my fears, doubt and worry vanish but when he is asleep and has been for a while they come back, they creep into the back of my mind sparking off other worries, I remember these worries because I had them with Freddie, when we were at the hospital I was fine but at home I would just worry.

I have decided that I will be happy and I will not wish away his babyhood or is childhood, partly because by doing that I am wishing my own childhood away but mainly because I want to be able to enjoy him forever and always.

This post was taken from my previous blog- Cartwheel Girl’s Blog.

School.

In 2009 I went to School for the first time. I went for the last term of year 6 to see if I wanted to carry onto senior school, unfortunately I didn’t get into the school I wanted to go to but then last week we got a letter offering me a place at the school I wanted to go to.

We went to see the school to decide whether or not I was going to . The person we met told us a lot about the school, it’s specialities and things like that, we also spoke about GCSE options because they do options year in year 9 instead of year 10. After we had finished talking I had to decide if I was going or not, in the end I decided that I was going to give it a go.

We were given a quick tour of the school, it has 3 massive dance studios and a massive sports hall. It does loads of outside activities as well including the Air cadets that I want to do!

I won’t be starting until October so I have a couple of months to get my knowledge up to scratch and hopefully and I won’t be behind at all. I have to go back to the school in September to meet my form tutor and get some of my school uniform, the school uniform is exceptionally black and also your only allowed to wear white socks if you’re a girl wearing a skirt???

This post was taken from my previous blog- Cartwheel Girl’s Blog.

Holiday and Birthday 2011

We went on holiday to Devon to the farm, where we went last year. We had a lovely time again though it wasn’t quite as sunny as last year!

We were meant to be going on the Friday but Mummy was ill and in bed most of the day so we went on Saturday instead which wasn’t so bad. In the morning before we left I had a couple of early Birthday presents which were A bead bag full of nice beady craft,a Revell Train modeling kit and a very, VERY big Piggy bank!


My Piggy Bank :)

When we got there we unpacked and set up our tent (the girls and I get the tent while Mummy and Daddy get the cottage as it only has two bedrooms!) Then we played with Jake, Annie and Jasper (the dogs!) and then we fed the horse Scarlet, when we got back we discovered that two home educated children were in the cottage next door which was great!

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This is Jake doing his favourite hobby duck herding!!!

The first night we were there the white duck had ducklings and we were very happy for her because last year her duckling died but this year she had 7 but two of them died sadly but she still had 5.

We climbed quite a few hills including our favourite which I think is called Kestor? We played this game with our Dad where we split into two teams and we had to catch each other, it was fun until Daddy hurt his ankle and we had to go back to the cottage. We also climbed a very steep one but I have forgotten it’s name but the moment we got to the top it started raining so we decided to go back down again!

Fran
Me at Kestor.

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Me again at Kestor.

We also went to Lustliegh Cleave  which was by a stream and we met these people who were counting butterflies and we saw a Tiger Butterfly which was very pretty.


Me at Lustliegh Cleave.

We also went to on of our favourite places, Belevoir. Where we hopped along the rocks for a while :)


Belevoir.

And we went  to a beach town.

And then we had fish and chips!

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I LOVE this picture :)

And then we went to the beach!!!!!!!!
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I got a bit wet!!!

We had a lovely week and we’re going back again in August!!!!!!!

This post was taken from my previous blog- Cartwheel Girl’s Blog.

Freddie, 1 Year On.

Freddie, though 1 year you were born it only feels like 1 day. I have had my days where where I remember you and I smile and treasure the moments I had with you and then there are the days where I just want to cry.

I remember waking up a 5 in the morning and realising it was all happening going to my Great Aunts staying there and mucking out the horses of a distant Aunt, my Dad coming to tell us that we had a baby brother. At the time I didn’t know how serious Freddie condition was and just hoping that he would come home.

I can’t remember what happened during the 11 days my brother was alive very well, I can remember getting him a teddy bear snuggle blanket and seeing him a few times.

 But I remember being told that it was over. In my head I knew it wasn’t working but I hoped. I don’t want it to be over even now but I tell myself that it is and I can’t do anything about. But this experience will be good for me, one day.

I’m going to cry today and wish for you back, but wishing doesn’t seem to help not even if you cry. Sometimes it hurts so much that I can’t think straight but I carry on and I’m strong.

This post was taken from my previous blog- Cartwheel Girl’s Blog.

The Best T-Shirts in the World…Possibly

For Christmas this year I decided to take it one step further with my Sisters and Mums presents. At the beginning of December I had to go into my parents unit to get a birthday present for my friend and I saw a name of a business that caught my interest (Which I will mention later). I asked my Dad, who was with me at the time, what the did and my Dad said they designed T-Shirts and then we had the idea of making them for my family for Christmas.

When I got home I started to create the designed the basic idea for these T-Shirts I was going to try and make and when I had the basic design Daddy took me to see the lady who would my designs come to life. The first time I went to see her we talked about how the my designs would look when they were on T-Shirts and some changes I could make. So that time nothing much happened but I had a lot to think about and we decided that instead of having the designs on just plain white T-Shirts I was going to choose coloured T-Shirts for them which didn’t take too long thank goodness!

The next week I went in to see my person but unfortunately she was ill and not able to come in which was a bit nerve-racking as Christmas was next week fortunately she was able to come in later that week. The next time I visited was the Tuesday just before Christmas and then we started to get somewhere, We looked at the designs that I had done and decided what we would keep and not keep and then when we sorted that out we used the T-Shirts and thought what sizes the shapes and words would have to be to make them look good. We started to print out the things for Amelie’s T-shirt, which we didn’t get very far on because we had to go home and have dinner.

We went back early the next morning to finish them off, which was a lot of printing!. After we had printed all the things we needed we had to peel all extra bits off which really did take a long time and by the time we were finished my head had that feeling where you have been doing something for too long and your head has a sort of dizzy feeling to it! After that all that was left was to heat press the designs onto the T-Shirts.

We started with Amelie’s and what we did was put all the shapes onto the T-Shirt and move them about until I was happy with them. With Amelie’s and Mummy’s There was a bit too much on the front so I put bits onto the back. I put a smiley face out of two stars and a crescent moon with Amelie’s and a rainbow with Mummy’s. Then when I was happy we put the Heat-Press thing down onto it and when it made a whoosh sound (Which always scared the living daylights out of me!) We knew it was done and then all we had to do was do that to the rest of them.

Here is a link to the website http://www.penta-online.co.uk/services.html.

And here are some pictures.

IMG_5588My Lovely Sister Maddy’s T-Shirt.

IMG_5591Josie’s was possibly my favourite because of the colours.

Amelie. Aged 8. So she says.unfortunately you can’t read what Amelie’s says on the front, Amelie The Superstar!!!

IMG_5599And the back of Amelie’s, which even I have to say looks rather cool!

IMG_5600All of them together Amelie’s posing like a gymnast, SURPRISE!!!

IMG_5651Mummy’s.

IMG_5652The back of Mummy’s is absolutely amazing but it did take s long time!

This post was taken from my previous blog- Cartwheel Girl’s Blog.

All about some of my family

All about Me.

My name is Fran. I am Twelve years old and I’m about 4’ 10”; I have honey coloured hair and I think I’m rather pretty. I think of myself as clever, funny, serious, kind and sweet. The things I enjoy most are Gymnastics, Dancing and Acting and when I’m older I think I would either like to be a Ballerina, work on a farm or become a commonwealth gymnast, (not likely). I like to wear leggings so I can do gym in the garden and short sleeved tops but if I am going to a party I like to look my best. I am Home Educated but in 2009 I went to school and although I kind of enjoyed it but I did not carry on.

All about Amelie

Amelie, is my younger sister. She is eight years old and she has dark brown hair in a bob. Amelie is cheeky, clever, annoying and playful. Her hobbies are Gymnastics, Dancing, annoying me and being noisy. When she is older she wants to become an Olympic Gymnast and nothing else. Amelie likes to dress in soft trousers so she can do splits and tops that are too small for her. Like me Amelie is also home educated, she has never gone to school and I don’t think she’s planning to.

All about Maddy

Maddy,is also my younger sister. She is ten years old and has short toffee coloured hair. Maddy’s hobbies are TKD, rugby, singing and acting. Maddy’s personality is different, shy about herself and competitive. When she’s older Maddy would like to be an actress. Maddy doesn’t go to school but I don’t think she wants to.

All about Mummy

Mummy, is my Mum, her name is Merry, she is a little bit taller than me but not a lot. She has brown curly hair and she sometimes has it died blonde on top. Her hobbies are, chatting to friends on the phone for a long time, watching us do our gym and TKD, sleeping, writing on her blog and working. Mummy’s personality is helpful, amazing and lovely.

This post was taken from my previous blog- Cartwheel Girl’s Blog.

Freddie.

Freddie was my little brother, he was born on the 2nd of April 2010. When he came out he didn’t breath so he went into the Special Care Baby Unit SCBU for short. Freddie was put on a Ventilator.

The hospital he was in had just had a Virus going around so me and my sister weren’t allowed to see him.

But on the 6th of April they said we were allowed to see him, when we saw him he had a lot of wires helping him to get better.

After 2 days of being on this Ventilator Freddie was able to breath and shortly afterwards my mummy was allowed to give him a cuddle and when she did he opened his eyes just a little bit.
He then went to another hospital for the day to have is brain waves measured.

After that we had lots of ups and downs but he was stating to get better. Then he was moved into a room of his own and we were allowed to see him. We brought him some presents all of which he liked.

I gave him a Comfort Blanket, Maddy gave him a a Lullaby Teddy, Amelie gave him a bear called Leonie and Josie gave him some baby grows.

A while later he opened his eyes and was having a good look around. When we came to see him a while later he was asleep but we all had a picture taken of us and here it is.
Unfortunately after we had left he got a chest infection. The doctors thought that they could make him better but Freddie was too young to fight it off. He died on the 13th of April Freddie died aged 11 days old. But he died happy and in no pain.

This post was taken from my previous blog- Cartwheel Girl’s Blog.

School days.

Going to school for the first time ever is not easy. My first day at school was a bit confusing, because I didn’t know what to do at all. I met lots of new people, but only a few on the first day. We started a project on the first day it was a research project where each of us had to pick a subject and write about it.

I chose the Tudors and wrote 25 pages on it on the Bradgate park and all the kings and queens from Henry the VII  to Elizabeth the first, I even did the confusing bit about Lady Jane Grey. I did a lot of projects while I was there.

I did DT which is design and technology where we had to build a House then a car boat thing which we had to test.

Then we started an end of school term play of a Midsummer Nights dream but we turned it into A Midsummer Terms Dream since there was a lot of us we had to play a bit of one part so one person would Puck in one scene then another in the next scene. Which was great fun and went well.

We also had P.E where sometimes we did Orienteering and other times we did Cricket (which I was RUBBISH at).

One of my favourite times was when I helped at the younger Sports day, me and my friend Elizabeth did this game where they had to jump through these hoops and then ran back and I enjoyed doing that. Then there was my Sports day. I was the second Captain it was great fun and we won!!!

I did try a day at Orton Longville but I knew school was not the place for me. But I’m really glad I went and I really enjoyed it.

This post was taken from my previous blog- Cartwheel Girl’s Blog.

The Raymond Girls Christmas.

All about the Raymond girls Christmas. Well it was 3.00 in the morning and I woke up and stayed awake being BORED!!! By the time of 6.00 I was so bored that I went to find out what the time was.The lighted Christmas tree was up as it usually is but it wasn’t a Christmas tree it was a load of twigs with lights and decorations.

Then at 6.30 we opened our stockings, I got some club penguin cards, some nail varnish and other things which I can’t remember. Then we went to have breakfast and open our Father Christmas presents and our main presents.Our Santa were club penguin penguins, which you could take apart and put back together again.

My main present was a keyboard and Maddy got a flute, Amelie got a purple sparkly violin and Josie got a club penguin igloo.

Then we opened some of the presents under the tree. I got a book called Evolution Revolution by a man called Robert Wilson and a Knitting kit where you knit cloths for a doll and a game made out of Lego called minotaurus and a sewing machine, I got a groovy girl from Josie, a playmobil horse from Maddy and a groovy girl cat from Amelie.

Maddy got a knitting kit and a Lego game called Pyramid and a video camera, from me she got a groovy girl dog Amelie gave her a groovy girl and Josie gave her playmobil.

Amelie got a sewing kit  some big bang books and a DSI, From me she got a groovy girl dog, from Maddy she got a groovy girl and from Josie she got some playmobil.

Josie got train track ( LOTS OF IT!!!!) a groovy girl sledged and a Lego came called Magicus, from me she got a groovy girl, from Maddy she got a groovy girl dog and from Amelie she got some playmobil.

Then on boxing day we opened the rest of the presents, one of my favourites was from my Granddad I got a beautiful pen and an apron.

On the 27th we went to Granny and Grampty and Uncle Rich, Aunty Greer, Uncle Darren, Rowan and Ella were there. From Grampty I got a bead chest which I love very much and a Tasmania top, from Granny I got a Cello stand, from Uncle Rich I got a Kangaroo top, from Aunty Greer, Uncle Darren, Rowan and Ella I got club penguin top with a Puffle on the front and from Nana I got a tube of my favourite sweetie Jelly Tots and a mug.

From Grampty Maddy got some Automobloxs and a Tasmania top, from Granny she got a Flute stand, from Uncle Rich she got an Australian top, from Aunty Greer, Uncle Darren, Rowan and Ella  she also got a Puffle top and from Nana she a tube of Fruit Pasties and a mug.

From Grampty Amelie got A mermaid  groovy girl and a Tasmania top, from Granny she got a Violin stand, from Uncle Rich she got a top, from Aunty Greer, Uncle Darren, Rowan and Ella she got a jumper dress and from Nana she got a tube of sweeties of which I cannot remember the name of! And a mug.

Josie got a Tasmania top and a groovy girl mermaid from Grampty and Granny, a toy kangaroo from Uncle Rich, a cardigan from Aunty Greer, Uncle Darren, Rowan and Ella and a mug and a tube of white chocolate buttons from Nana.  I had a  really BRILLIANT Christmas and I hope everyone who reads this had a great one too!!!!!!

This post was taken from my previous blog- Cartwheel Girl’s Blog.